Let me start by saying every bit of what you are about to read is real. I only wish I were making this up.
I want to like Bici, a local restaurant and bar that is just about 1 mile from our house. It has promise. It has a great location on Pershing in U. City. Has a great patio for the cooler summer nights and the food there is usually pretty good. It has the potential to be "our neighborhood restaurant and bar". But potential only gets you so far.
Tonight Misty and I decided to enjoy the nice evening and walk to Bici. We had nothing planned, so a 20 minute walk to and from dinner was going to be nice. We got to Bici around 7:45pm. There were people at about 5 of the outdoor tables and no one indoors. It took a minute for the bartender/waitress to seat us, but there we were, sitting among the other patrons. And we waited, and we waited. We had been at the table for about 5-6 minutes with no one coming to greet us. We imposed a "if no one is here by 5-till, we are leaving". As it happens the bartender/waitress showed up just before the buzzer.
Misty initially ordered a Rootbeer, but wisely chose an alcoholic drink thinking that she might need it for this dining experience. We had just purchased a Restaurant.com coupon for Bici where we were in essence going to get $15 of free food. "Let's stick it out". I ordered a glass of wine and we both emphatically asked for a glass of water each. Along with that we placed an order for the meatball appetizer.
We waited.
Finally, two drinks arrive - neither of them water. We asked again for the water as well.
We waited.
We sat there at the table while others were served. There were two servers tonight. Ours, and the apparent owner. They were struggling to keep up with the 5 tables counting a total of 11 guests. While the owner was in ear-shot I said to Misty, "I just hope they take our order sometime". This tactic worked and the owner stopped to ask us what we would like. I had noticed that one of the Seafood Specials was Pork Chop of a bed of Apple Risotto. I had to ask what part of the Pork Chop special was seafood. He explained that it was like that for about 3 weeks on the menu, and had just been caught a few days ago. He assured me that it was not seafood and I made it clear that I was not looking for seafood. Oh, and he offered to bring us some water.
We waited.
Finally, and I forgot to check my watch for when, the meatballs arrived. We struck up a conversation about how busy it must have been tonight and she mentioned that she was on her 4th day on the job and that another server and bartender did not show tonight, and this being a beautiful night, they were too busy for two. Totally understandable.
She then leaned over the table and told us, "once I get out of here, I am getting fuckin' stoned".
This is not the first drug story we have from Bici. We have been there before and met other bartenders who were obviously leaving the bar to get high, then returning to their post. I have a feeling that it comes with the job at Bici. I digress.
We waited.
The owner came by later and asked us if we wanted 2 more drinks. Dinner was obviously not coming any time soon based upon the pace of our water or appetizer, so we agreed. When he returned, Misty's Sangria was in a much larger glass (a mini fishbowl). Her first was in a wine glass. Somewhat embarrassed that his Sangria would be served in such a puny glass, he offered to comp the first Sangria, "our Sangria is too good to be served in a small glass like that, and with 8 Rums and Vodkas, it will knock you on your ass". Yes, that was the owner. We were scheduled to get our first freebie.
During this time another couple sat, ordered, was served their drinks and food.
We waited.
Ah, our dinner approached the table. Misty ordered the new Mushroom, Parmesan Burger and that arrived in all of its glory. In the other hand of our waitress was a risotto, but instead of pork chops it was shrimp - the real seafood special. I told her it was not what I ordered. Misty began eating.
The owner came out a few minutes later and says "I have some good news and some bad news, the good news is that your dinner is on us. The bad news is that in our run earlier tonight, we sold out of the pork chop". Odd that the cook did not mention this to him when he ordered. Or was it that he told him the seafood special and then did not want to come clean on his mistake that the seafood special I ordered did not have SEAFOOD! He began to rattle off what I could have. First, the shrimp and risotto (again, I did not want seafood). I settled on a lamb kabob that sounded good, and I was tired of waiting. Off he went. 2nd freebie.
Misty continued to eat her dinner. By the way, the burger and salad were good.
Finally my lamb shows up. Of the 10 pieces on the kabob, at least 5 of them were incredibly fatty. If you don't believe me, you can go check the flower bed next to my chair, a piece that refused to surrender to my teeth is sitting in there now. The couscous bed was also quite interesting. An Indian / nutmeg taste. I was hungry, I plowed through it.
Finally, we finish dinner, pushing 9pm. Supposedly the kitchen closes at 8:30 on Mondays. The owner was well aware that we had a restaurant.com coupon. He offered us some bread pudding. It was time to go. We had enough stories for one night. He picked up our coupon and went into run our bill. When he returned he had neglected to subtract my dinner, but Misty had drank for free. I was ready to call it even, to pay the $19 for my plate and vow to never return again. Misty says, "that's a dinner at The Fatted Calf!". She called the owner over and reminded him that he promised me a free dinner. It was removed. Now, with all of the freebies (2 sangrias and a fatty lamb) + the $25 Restaurant.com voucher our bill hit $24. It was not quite that simple though. Instead of running a new check for me, he just wrote the new total below the higher amount on the original bill. Never had me sign it and offered us 2 shots because it had been such a crazy night.
Who knows how this story would end had we took him up for those shots. We were the last ones there. I am sure the waitress was already rolling her own somewhere inside.
We began our walk home and noticed the large, full moon rising in the sky.
"never go to Bici on a full moon" was what Misty said. I think that says it all.
PROS: Sangria, 1/2 of the meatballs (the ones which were not burnt) and the burger, potential of free after-dinner shots
CONS: Scroll Up
No comments:
Post a Comment