Useless Airline Information

Why is it that the pilot must come on the PA system on the plane and tell you tons of information that have no bearing on your life?

"We will be traveling at 32,000 ft".  

Really?  Who cares?  How will that ever impact my life or my thoughts about that particular flight?  Just assure me that I am at a different elevation than other planes in the vicinity and that my elevation is higher than mountains and buildings and I have all of the info I need!

"There is a west/northwest wind of 14 miles per hour".

How about just tell me that there will be a cross wind based upon how we expect to land and that there might be some turbulence.  Honestly, unless I know the city well...I don't have a clue which direction I am landing from since for some reason you like to circle the city before landing.

"We will be traveling at 434 knots".

OK, I know they use this one just to try to sound cool.  Every passenger, save the few that might be pilots, know what miles per hour are, very few know anything about knots.  So telling me speed in knots just makes me want to google the knot/mph conversion...but I can't because all electronic devices must be in the OFF position.

Here's what I want to hear.

"Your trip to Atlanta today will take about an hour and a half.  Compare this to how long that would take you to drive...and according to Google Maps it will take you nearly 9 hours.  So by choosing to fly American Airlines we have saved you about seven and a half hours...not to mention you will not lose any time for bathroom breaks.  You made a good choice as your time is very valuable!"

"When we land we will still be moving at about 120 miles per hour.  If you have a window seat, this is one of the few times in your life you will see what it is like to go that fast on the ground. Enjoy the view, it is awesome!"

"Don't worry about anything else.  We are trained professionals up here and we know the right elevation to get you across the country comfortably and safely.  We'll be watching for changing winds and we are always in touch with our friends on the ground to help us as well.  Again, no worries for you, just open up that magazine that you would not be caught reading anywhere else but on a plane...and relax."

But that's just what I want to hear...well, that and a lot less talk about how to buckle your seatbelt after they have already demanded that the seatbelt be buckled.  That one always seemed to be an odd time to teach you to do something you already have done...but that's just me.

Serge